RJA, Part 2: Pleasure Planet, My Mivonks
by michael1812
Summary: Sequel to the story 'Rage, Jokes and Arguments'.Filler for Scratch 'n' Sniff.Crichton and co are put on trial for the murder of Fe'Tor and more.They face execution and must work together to save themselves, only this proves to be very difficult as noone w
1. Chapter 1

"Shouldn't we be going back to Moya?"

Chiana was still a little bit weakened by what Fe'Tor had done to her, but killing him made her feel so much better.

"Yeah, we should." John tried to explain. "But we have to do something else first."

"Like what?" Chiana asked as she left the complex and found herself on the beach of Lo'Mo.

The cold and refreshing wind which was blown in her face soothed her pain and made her feel less sleepy.

Both saw a beautiful sun going down into the ocean.

Both saw thirty armoured men approaching them in the distance.

"I'll explain later." John said.

They heard familiar voices in the distance.

John and Chiana attempted to hide behind the rocks, but it proved to be pointless as soldiers surrounded them from every angle.

"Frell." Chiana said, before both she and John were pushed to the ground and were cuffed and beaten as they tasted sand in their mouths.

"Reminds me of college..." Crichton joked.

"Really?" Chiana said smiling. "What did you do?"

"Silence!" a man said.

As John and Chiana looked besides them, they saw a angered D'Argo and a weakened Jool being pushed into the sand next to them.

"You are arrested for breaking the laws of Lo'Mo!" the man spoke.

His black outfit and tough face clearly gave away the fact that he was the officer, and a man of the law.

"You are being arrested for the account of four crimes! One! Disturbing the Peace! Two! Carrying weaponry! Three! Firing weaponry! Four! Murder! Five!"

"I didn't know that having seven orgasms at a time was a crime!" Chiana interrupted.

"What?" John, D'Argo and Jool said to the laughing Chiana.

"Silence!" the man said.

"Five! Theft! Six! Damaging property! Should I go on?"

"Please do." D'Argo said.

"Look!" John said as he tried to lift his sorry ass out of the sand.

"We are innocent!"

"That seems highly unlikely." The man said.

The man's nose reminded John of an eagle.

"Well, believe it or not, but we are!" John said, hoping that this police constable was more interested in finding out the truth then he was at finding a scapegoat.

"Help him!" Harvey said to D'Argo, almost pushing him to aid Crichton.

"He's telling the truth. Sir." D'Argo said with difficulty.

He wanted to punch Harvey in the face for doing so.

"We are innocent."

Both John and D'Argo looked at Chiana who couldn't seemed to stop laughing.

Now they both wanted to punch her: this was hardly the behaviour of an innocent person.

"Listen to what we have to say!" John went on. "I assure you we speak the truth!"

Chiana laid her head in the sand as she kept on laughing and laughing.

"Go on." The constable spoke.

John spit all of the sand and dirt out of his mouth and started talking.

"This isn't much of a statement, mister Crichton." Constable Sta'To said.

"You practically confess everything you did!"

"Right." Jool said as she closed her eyes and put her forehead against the sand.

"We're doomed."

"Whoa-whoa, wait a minute here! It wasn't like we had a choice! We were trying to save our friends! If we-if we hadn't done what we did, they would've been sold and killed by now!"

"Perhaps your motives were noble, but that does not negate the fact that you killed a man!"

"We didn't!" Jool said. "She did!"

"You frelling tralk!" Chiana said to Jool as she turned her face.

She would've ripped Jool's arm off if D'Argo had not been in the way, and if she wasn't restrained lying faced down in the sand.

The sound of breaking waves was faintly heard in the background.

"Girls!" D'Argo shouted as a sign for them to stop.

"And there's also the fact..." the constable continued. "That you do not have any evidence to support your claims, other then Fe'Tor's reputation..."

"Tell him about the Hanji!" Harvey buzzed in D'Argo's ear.

"The Hanji!" D'Argo hollered.

"We do have evidence, constable!" John said.

"A Hanji?" Constable Sta'Kor said.

"Yeah..." Crichton said. "Ever heard of it?"

"There were rumours that Fe'Tor owned a Hanji, but I did not believe them."

"It is true." D'Argo said.

"If Fe'Tor owned a Hanji, then there is a chance you won't get executed."

Jool lifted her head out of the sand.

"Executed?" she asked.

"Pleasure planet, my mivonks." D'Argo said.

* * *

"Hammerhead! How you doing?" John said as he entered the round complex.

The scent of low quality drugs surrounded them.

"Kabaah!" the constable said as he pushed Crichton out of the way.

"Do you work for Heska Fe'Tor?" the constable shouted as he grabbed Kabaah's neck.  
"Yes, constable Sta'Kor." The green creature said with difficulty and afraid of his life. "Heska Fe'Tor is one of my clients."

"Then show me his compound." The constable said as he grabbed one of his tentacles and put it in his eye.

"You don't have a plan to escape." Harvey said to D'Argo. "I bet Crichton has."

"Shut up." D'Argo replied.

"What the frell is that?" Jool said.

"That thing is going to save our lives." John said.

"I doubt it." D'Argo said.

"Don't you guys ever stop arguing?" Chiana said.

"I wasn't arguing." John said.

"What, you say I am?" D'Argo said.

John wanted to say something, but shook his head instead.

He looked at Chiana and Jool but they didn't say anything.

"You know, I'm not talking to you anymore."

"Fine." D'Argo said.

"Have a nice time chatting with Harvey." John said.

"Frell you." D'Argo replied. "Chiana! Stop flirting with the guards!"

Chiana was getting very close to one of the guards, who were dressed in leather and wore black masks.

"I'm not flirting! Although the tall one is kind of cute."

Chiana laughed as Crichton pulled her back into the group.

"What the frell is he doing?" Jool asked as she saw the constable talking to the green creature as he held one of it's tentacles in his eye.

"That's just gross." Jool said.

"Right." The constable said as he pulled the tentacle out of his eye and walked towards the gang.

"The images confirm some of the facts in your statement." he said to Crichton.

John nodded in agreement.

"But we still have to bring the Hanji in for further questioning, before decisions are made."

"How long is that going to take?" John asked.

"A day. Perhaps more."

Suddenly the constable leaned closer towards Crichton.

"I have to obey regulation, you see. Personally I would've gladly let you go, but circumstances forbid me to do so."

John nodded, but as he felt D'Argo listening in over his shoulder he pushed him away.

"And we still have to find Raxil and confirm her story. It'll won't be difficult to find her. She is a well-known freslin smuggler. Notorious even."

Constable Sta'Kor smiled.

"But not as notorious as you, of course." he added. "John Crichton. Ka D'Argo. And even the Nebari Chiana. Yes I have heard of you, although I do not recognise the redhead."

Jool was clearly insulted by the way he called her 'redhead'.

"You said you personally would be glad to let us go." John said.

"Certainly." The constable said. "You've killed one of the major crime-bosses of the freslin syndicate here on Lo'Mo. Something which is quite extraordinary, when you think of it."

Chiana started yawning.

"We've been trying to get Fe'Tor for nearly ten years, but we got nothing. And then you show up, and you manage to kill him in less then two days!"

"I bet John didn't like that." Harvey buzzed in D'Argo's ear.

"Shut up."

"Yeah, we're great at that, right Chiana?" John said.

"I enjoyed killing him." she said with a smile on her face.

"Right..." the constable said, slightly afraid.

"Sir!" one of the guards suddenly said.

"Look who we found wandering the complex!"

"Let me go!" a familiar voice said. "I haven't done anything! Did I do anything? No, no, I didn't, so, you have to let me go! Au! You don't have to push me! Let me go!"

Raxil was pushed forward until she stood in the complex, in front of John and the gang.

The little creature just looked around with her big shiny eyes and as she saw John she went: "Hello."

"Raxil!" the constable said. "So glad you could join us!"

"Yeah, all right, why not, I mean, yeah, okay, sure..."she muttered as she was pushed to meet the constable.

"Everything is almost sorted." The constable said after he interrogated both Raxil and Kabaah and John. "

It won't be long before the judge will see you."

"Judge?" Jool asked.

"He will choose your punishment after carefully reviewing your case."

"That's great." John said. "But before I meet that judge I must ask of you..."

"What?" the constable said.

"The Hanji..." John said. "My friend and I need to have a word with him."

As D'Argo stepped forward, the constable looked at both men before making a decision.

"All right. But not too long."

He clearly did not know what they really intended to do.

"Finally." D'Argo said. "Let's get that frelling creature out of my mind."

"And back into mine..." John said a little bit dissapointed.

"I'm sure going to miss not having Harvey in my head..."John added as he put the green tentacle into his eye.

* * *

The swirling sensation which crept up in their brain as the creature showed them a 3D-image of Fe'Tor's compound wasn't unexpected. It felt more like they had to throw up.

Harvey stood leaning against the wall, waiting for their arrival.

"Now, let's try it again." John said. "I've been thinking about why it didn't work the last time. Well, maybe it was because that I did not want Harvey back on a subconscious level...you're still with me?"

Harvey nodded intelligent, however D'Argo had to think for a second before getting on the same level as John's.

"So I'm going to try focusing more on you." John said and pointed at Harvey.

"Right...okay...let's do it."

"Wow, this is fun!"

"What the..." D'Argo said as he turned around. "Chiana!"

"This is weird!" she said.

"What the frell are you doing here?" D'Argo said.

"I just wanted to know what you were doing that's all...wow is this real?"

John closed his eyes as he rubbed his forehead in frustration.

"No, it isn't." D'Argo replied. "Now, go away."

"I'm not going away, this is fun!"

"Let her stay!" Harvey said, but he was ignored, as usual.

"No, I won't go! And you can't tell me what to do! I'm not your..."

But D'Argo had already pulled the tentacle out of his eye and he forced Chiana to take the tentacle out too.

"Hey!" she shouted.

* * *

Exactly at that point a large explosion blew out the front door of the complex and several men came out of the smoke shooting, killing some of the guards in the process.

"What the frell?"

Crichton, D'Argo and Chiana duck as they hear the gunfire.

"Jool!" John shouted, trying to find out where she is.

"I'm here!" she replied.

She sat in the corner of the chamber, together with the constable and three other guards.

"This must be the work of Fe'Tor's sister!" the constable said. "She seeks revenge on her brother's murderer!"

"Unlock our handcuffs.." John said to the constable.

"But I can't..."

"Unlock our handcuffs." D'Argo repeated.

"I mustn't..."

"Unlock our handcuffs!" Chiana repeated.

"Do you want us to get killed?"

"We can help you!" John said. "Just unlock our hands and give us our weapons!"

The constable agreed and did as they asked.

Immediately they started firing and defending their position, as if they had rehearsed this together.

As if they were used to doing this.

As the smoke cleared and there was a moment of silence, D'Argo turned to his friends.

"Say, I'm not sensing Harvey." he suddenly said. "John?"

"He's not in my mind..." Crichton answered.

Both turned to Chiana.

"Tell me," Harvey said to Chiana. "Do you ever stop thinking about sex?"

"No." Chiana said. "Does that bother you?"

Harvey smiled as he walked closer to the grey Nebari girl.

"Not at all."

"Chiana!" John shouted.

"What? Can't a girl have a little fun?" Chiana replied.

"It's Scorpius you're talking about." D'Argo said.

"He's not really Scorpius!" Chiana replied. "Crichton said that himself!"

"You're right, he's not really Scorpius." John said.

"But if you like him so much, you can keep him!"

The constable fired at his attackers as they reappeared in the complex.

Crichton, D'Argo and Chiana followed his example.

"I don't want him!" Chiana replied as she fired shots at those men.

"My thoughts are private! You can have him, Crichton!"

"And my thoughts aren't private?" John asked.

"You don't have that much thoughts to begin with." D'Argo said as he threw his weapon away; his ammo ran out.

* * *

"What the frell are they talking about?" Raxil said to Jool as she crawled towards her.

Jool looked at her with a startled look.

"What the frell are you?" she said.

* * *

"Do you realise what you're doing right now?" John replied. "You're trying to begin another argument! In the middle of a gunfight!"

"I am not!" D'Argo replied. "You are!"

"I'm totally not!"

"Yes you are!" Chiana replied.

"You stay the frell out of this!"

"Chiana can do whatever she frelling wants to do!" D'Argo said.

"Really?" Chiana said. "That wasn't what you said a few microts ago!"

"I did not say that...!" D'Argo replied.

"Silence!" the constable spoke.

They all turned their heads to see the constable.

"The threat is over." he said.

As they were having their heated discussion, they did not notice that their attackers stopped attacking.

They were all dead, and on the run.

"It's best if we were to continue this conversation down at the police headquarters here on Lo'Mo." The constable spoke, before taking their weapons away from them again, handcuffing them and forced them to follow him as they left to go to the police-station.


	2. Chapter 2

Crichton and the others were escorted to the headquarters and placed under heavy security.

There was one assassination attempt already, and the people and government of Lo'Mo appalled violence in any way.

They were placed in a strongly decorated cell. In other words, very ugly.

Raxil and the Hanji were taken to other cells, but Crichton and the others were together in one cell, where they did not speak to each other until Jool tried to break the silence.

But it only made matters worse.

"Why the frell do you keep blaming this on me?" John shouted at D'Argo.

"Because this is all your fault!" D'Argo hollered back.

"It is not!"

"Yes, it is! Pilot banished us, because he couldn't stand another wormhole-hunt!"

"He banished us because he was sick of hearing us argue!" John replied.

D'Argo stood up and began to walk around the room.

"I can understand that you can get quite egocentric when you're chased around the universe twice," D'Argo said. "...but I'm not putting up with this dren any longer!"

"What the frell are you talking about?" John shouted confused.

"That you always seem to think everything revolves around you!" D'Argo shouted. "And when something goes wrong, you blame it on somebody else!"

"I do not!"

"Yes, you do!" D'Argo said.

John rubbed his eyes.

He couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"Pip, tell him he's talking complete dren!" John said to Chiana, hoping to find an ally.

"No, he's not." Chiana said.

"What?" John replied dazed.

"Everything he says is true." Chiana said. "You treat us like dirt, thinking everything revolves around you!"

"I do not! I totally do not!" John replied.

"Yes, you do." Jool said calmly.

John turned around, feeling cornered and outnumbered and abandoned and kicked in the nuts.

"For the short while I've got to know you," Jool said. "...you've clearly demonstrated that you think you're the only one who has any sense of reason. You think the rest of us are all primitive and wild or something. The only thing that matters is to you, is yourself..."

"Your ego." Chiana added.

"Your wormholes." D'Argo said.

"And Aeryn." Chiana concluded.

"Always Aeryn." Jool said.

John was stunned.

"This is unbelievable." John said.

"Frelling unbelievable."

He didn't want to do it, perhaps a little bit, but they forced him to do it.

"I sacrificed my life to save your son!" John said to D'Argo.

"I ate deadly mushrooms so I could get you back to Moya!" John said to Chiana.

"And now you're saying that I am egocentric?"

"John..." D'Argo tried to say, but was interrupted.

"Frell you!" John shouted.

John walked around the room one last time before sitting down in the farthest end of the dark chamber.

"Tell Harvey I said hi." John softly said to Chiana as he sat down with his knees curled up against him and looking angry at the door.

As Jool fainted and fell down to the ground, (overcome by her pain and stress she had to endure as she was nearly killed by Fe'Tor in the milking-chair) none of them reached out to help her.

As the jailer opened the door he looked shocked at Jool's unconscious body which laid in front him.

"Is she dead?" he asked.

"No." D'Argo answered as he got up. "She'll be all right."

"I'm starving." Chiana said.

As the constable walked into the cell, John jumped up to greet him.

"Yo, constable." he said. "How's the investigation going?"

"It is done." constable Sta'Kor answered. "I have questioned all participants and checked all facts."

"So there are no problems?" John asked.

"Your story checks out just fine, mister Crichton." the constable answered.

"I doubt it that the judge will make an extreme decision today."

"That's good to hear." John said.

"You will see the judge within the hour. But before that time arrives, you can sit down and have a nice meal. I have no doubt that you are hungry."

"We are." John said. "Thank you for all your help. We really appreciate it."

"No problem." the constable said.

"Before I leave, I would like to introduce you to your lawyer."

"Our lawyer?" Chiana asked.

As the Ricardo Montalban-look-alike walked into the large, pink cell, Crichton couldn't stop himself from smiling.

So he decided to turn his head away from the Sebacean with dark eyes and grey hair, and try to wipe that hideous smug off his own face.

It wasn't long before John's face was straight again.

But because John did not say anything, D'Argo stepped in before the man would feel disrespected in any way.

"Thank you for helping us." D'Argo said.

As the lawyer looked at the unconscious Jool who laid spread out on the floor of the cell, he turned to D'Argo with an arrogant look in his eyes.

"Yes. I am sure you are more then happy that I will save you from the deaths you deserve." the man spoke.

"I beg your pardon?" D'Argo said.

"The deaths we deserve?" Chiana asked.

"You heard me correctly." The lawyer said.

The man's face was old and wrinkled, and he a aristocratic and intimidating charisma.

"You are obviously guilty of the murder of an inspiring and promising young man! And if I were to choose between neglecting my duties and defending a lot of murderous outsiders, then I'd rather stick a grebbol up my..."

"On second thought," D'Argo interrupted. "Perhaps we'll defend ourselves."

"You heard us, Whitey, beat it!" John said as he moved to escort him out of the cell.

"My name is Ka'an, you disrespectful, murderous, bunch of..."

But they were unable to hear the rest of his sentence as the cell-doors closed and a rather confused Sta'Kor stepped inside.

The constable looked at the laughing human.

"What's so funny?" the constable said to Crichton.

"He said his name was Ka'an." John said grinning.

The constable didn't get it.

Neither did D'Argo and Chiana.

"Ka'an?" John needlessly tried to explain. "Khan!"

"What the frell are you talking about?" D'Argo said.

"It's from Star Trek..." John said. "...never mind..."

"So I hear you want to represent yourselves in court." Sta'Kor said, ignoring the human's strange words

"That's not an easy task."

"You're kidding right?" Chiana interrupted. "I did it once, and it was a piece if cake!"

Chiana failed to mention the fact that Zhaan almost died in that trial, as she and Rygel almost could not prove her innocence.

Sta'Kor wasn't sure if Chiana's comment made him feel any better or worse.

Better because Chiana had experience with this sort of things, but also worse because this also meant that they have accused of this sort of thing before.

John looked at Sta'Kor, wondering why in hell this man was so eager to help them.

He began to think about the lawyer, Ka'an, and how much he differed from Sta'Kor.

Sta'Kor was much younger, Ka'an was very old.

Perhaps this was a battle of the generations.

Young versus old.

The old make the rules, whilst the young stay up all night and party.

And do everything to break those rules.

"Your dinner is ready." Sta'Kor said as he opened the door and stepped out of the way to let two alien cooks enter the cell, carrying four plates of food.

Foods they had never seen before.

"Are you sure she's all right?" Sta'Kor asked as he made one last look at Jool.

"She's fine." Chiana said.

"Don't worry about it." D'Argo said.

Jool suddenly lifted her head and looked around.

"Where am I?" she said as she slowly woke up.

"See?" John added.

* * *

The food was terrible.

It tasted like Fe'Tor had coughed up some of his intestines in his last dying breaths and the two alien cooks took it, deep-fried it and let a moose eat it and crap it out again, and then they served it up on those plates and made them eat it.

It was the most disgusting thing John ever tasted.

"God, that is horrible!" John shouted as he threw up his food back on his plate.

"Only Rygel would eat something like this!" D'Argo said as he did the same thing and threw the plate in the corner.

"And even he has to be extremely hungry before he would!"

"They call this food?" Jool said.

"I don't know." Chiana said. "I kind of like it."

"Here." John said as he handed his plate to her. "Have my share."

Chiana laughed, but then she stopped and leaned closer to John.

"John," she said. "You are going to take the neural clone out, right? Out of my mind, right?"

John said nothing.

"Because-because he's driving me mad, you know what I'm saying?"

John knew perfectly well what she was saying.

"He is getting on my nerves!" Chiana started whispering to John. "And he's a frelling pervert!"

John smiled.

"Is he going to places you don't want him to see?" John said. "Memories you don't want him to watch?"

"Frell you." Chiana said.

"This isn't really convincing me to take Harvey back, you know." John said.

"I don't frelling care!" Chiana said.

"Yeah, same here." John said as he turned away.

"Frell you!"

* * *

Court was in session.

The accused party, John Crichton, Ka D'Argo, the Nebari girl Chiana and an Interion girl named Jool, were escorted to the centre of the room by fierce guards wearing black uniforms.

"Why are we accused?" Jool asked. "Neither Chiana or me did anything!"

"Shut up!" John and D'Argo said.

Graffiti was sprayed all over the room. It was some kind of strange form of art, and decoration.

People gathered in the large courtroom.

D'Argo and John recognised Fe'Tor's sister entering the room and sitting down beside Fe'Tor's former right-hand man, whose name John could not remember.

"That's the guy who was with Fe'Tor the other day." John said to D'Argo.

"No." D'Argo said sarcastic. "Really?"

"Frell you."

The judge entered the courtroom, followed by the members of the jury.

"Court is now in session." The judge said. "Here stand before me, the accused party. They are accused of more then twelve criminal acts, including assault and murder. How do they claim?"

"Not guilty, your honour." John said.

"Why do you always have to speak on our behalf?" D'Argo said.

"I am a good speaker!" John replied.

"Sure you are." D'Argo said.

"Accused say, not guilty." the judge repeated.

The judge was a Sebacean who looked younger then he seemed, and he only wore a large purple and black robe because of tradition.

Under the robes he wore a tight, leather, green suit, which was unseen to all, except Chiana, who caught a glimpse of it as the judge entered the room.

She was still smiling.

"The trial may commence." the judge said. "Who do the councillors for the defence wish to call to the stands?"

"Damn." John said. "We have to do that kind of shit. Who do we call?"

D'Argo thought hard.

"Raxil..." they both said.

"We call the creature Raxil to the stand, your honour!"

Raxil was forced to the stand by constable Sta'Kor.

She looked very nervous.

After she swore to tell the truth, John approached her with cunning paces.

John tried to act cool and intimidating, but D'Argo followed John and pushed him aside.

"Tell them how you manipulated us into breaking into Fe'Tor's compound!" D'Argo shouted as he grabbed Raxil by the neck.

"Tell them!"

D'Argo was pulled away by several guards. Raxil was glad to be alive.

"That was very smooth!" John said to D'Argo.

"Well, at least I scared her!" D'Argo said smiling.

John was beginning to realise what D'Argo had in mind.

"Good cop, bad cop routine?" John asked.

"What?" D'Argo asked.

D'Argo clearly wasn't thinking what John was thinking, and really DID attack Raxil to make scared. And it was not part of any plan or strategy.

After John whispered something in D'Argo's ears, D'Argo began to understand what they were going to do, and John smiled to the audience before turning to Raxil.

"Tell me..." John began. "How well did you know Fe'Tor?"

Raxil hesitated.

"I didn't know him that well. No. I mean. Yeah, I knew him kind of."

"Kind of?" D'Argo asked. "Kind of?"

He began to approach her intimidating, and she immediately began to talk.

"All right! All right! I did know him! We used to deal in freslin together, but that was cycles ago!"

The people in the audience began to talk amongst each other.

Fe'Tor was a widely respected man. They had never expected him to deal in such a thing as freslin. There were rumours of course, but those were never believed.

John saw Fe'Tor's former right-hand-man glaring at him from the audience.

"Did you, at any time, deal with Fe'Tor himself on those occasions?" John asked.

D'Argo growled aggressively.

"At first I always dealt with him personally, but as time passed I usually began dealing more with his agents instead of himself." Raxil answered.

"So you reckon Fe'Tor got rich out of dealing freslin?" John asked.

"Objection!" the lawyer for the prosecution hollered.

"Where is this getting to, your honour?"

"I'm trying to show the motive for killing Fe'Tor!" John said. "If you'd just let me finish...!"

"Your honour!" the lawyer hollered again.

"What?" the judge said.

He was somewhat distracted by the flirtations of a certain grey Nebari girl.

"Overruled." the judge said a little bit carelessly.

"Answer the question." D'Argo said to Raxil.

"Well..." Raxil went on. "I don't think Fe'Tor got rich by dealing freslin. He had a rich father which gave him all of his money after he died in that mysterious mountain-climbing accident."

"So what do you think Fe'Tor wanted with the freslin?"

"Objection, your honour!" the lawyer shouted. "How can the witness be able to tell us what Fe'Tor wanted!"

"Sustained." the judge decided.

John shook his head.

Trying to get to Fe'Tor was a dangerous and difficult thing to do.

So he decided to try another way.

"Tell me, have you ever heard of us before?" John said to Raxil. "I mean...John Crichton...Ka D'Argo...etcetera etcetera..."

"Yes I have." Raxil answered.

"And how did you meet us?" John asked.

Raxil started thinking.

"Well, I was walking down the beach when I noticed you two sitting in a tent. You started waving and invited me in and I entered the tent and I..."

"LIAR!" D'Argo said.

"Tell us the truth!"

"It is the truth!" Raxil lied.

"No it isn't!" John said. "Because that's not what the two girls told us you hired to spike our drinks and steal our money!"

"I did not hire any girls!" Raxil lied.

"Do you want me to bring them in as witnesses?" John said.

Raxil began to doubt.

"Do you?"

"No..."

"Then tell us the truth!" D'Argo shouted.

"All right!" Raxil shouted. "I hired those girls to get you out of the way, so that Fe'Tor could do whatever he wanted to do with your females!"

"You dirty little tralk!" Jool shouted.

"We are not their females!" Chiana shouted, before looking at the judge again, flirting.

"That's the truth!" John shouted.

He was bluffing of course.

He never had those girls as witnesses.

He never got their names, so it was impossible for constable Sta'Kor to find them.

"No further questions, your honour." John said. "Although I'd like to reserve our right to call upon this witness again."

"Of course." the judge said.

John and D'Argo sat down in their chairs.

The interrogation had made them both tired.

"Interrogation is an art." John said to D'Argo.

Watching all those episodes of 'Matlock' in the past really paid off today.

John only hoped that the prosecution wasn't going to smash their victory into bits.


	3. Chapter 3

From the first moment the lawyer for the prosecution stood up from his chair, John could sense that this man was going to be a problem.  
He had a limp in his left leg; he had a cane to support his weight as he casually walked towards the witness.

Raxil tried to pull herself together, knowing that whatever she was about to say could mean the difference between either prison or freedom.

"Miss Raxil..." the lawyer spoke.

"Mrs." Raxil corrected him. "I'm married."

John raised his eyebrow.

"I beg your pardon." the lawyer said. "Mrs. Raxil."

"Raxil is my first name, not my..."

"Whatever, mrs. Raxil." The lawyer interrupted, waving his hand about as a sign for her to shut up.

"I am not interested in your name. I am only interested in what you have to say. And the truth."

John did not know what to think.

The truth was that they killed Fe'Tor.

In self-defence, yes, but John knew Chiana did not regret killing him.

Perhaps she even enjoyed it.

John rubbed his eyes.

All those thoughts in his mind gave him a headache.

He suddenly began wondering: would Harvey have any advice for him?

Yes, he actually missed Harvey. But only for a second.

"You said you had heard of the accused before." the lawyer asked Raxil.

"Yes, I had." Raxil answered.

"In what way?"

"Well, they were just rumours actually." Raxil said casually. "A friend of mine who works at the hangars told me that they were expecting the arrival of a group of notorious thugs."

"Thugs?"

"Well, I wouldn't call them thugs, you know (her eyes wandered slowly at Crichton and D'Argo; D'Argo looked at her as if he held a knife under his clothing and was eager to stab it in her guts) but the rumours said that Crichton-that Crichton had done lots of things."

"Like what?"

"Blown up Shadow Depositories, killed hundreds of Peacekeepers, and lots more."

"Then tell me," the lawyer went on, as he slowly walked around the courtroom. "Why did you seek them out?"

"My mate Saul." Raxil answered. "He was taken by Fe'Tor, and-and I wanted to rescue him. But I couldn't do it on my own. And because, you know, their females had been taken as well by Fe'Tor, I thought, you know, that we could help each other."

"But they went too far, didn't they?" the lawyer said.

"Well, yeah..." Raxil said, afraid to look at John and D'Argo as she said it.

"They started to shoot everything and blow up everything, and I didn't know what to do..."

"OBJECTION, YOUR HONOUR!" Crichton hollered. "That's just...she's frelling lying!"

The judge looked at him for a second before shaking his head and saying: "Overruled."

"Damn." John said as he sat down again. "I should've said something intelligent or something."

"Then don't open your mouth." Chiana said smiling.

"Funny..." John said. "But she's frelling lying! She knew perfectly well what we were going to do!"

"So what happened when you entered the complex?" the lawyer asked.

"Well, at first they wanted to rescue that Nebari girl," Raxil replied. "...and they started shooting and I panicked, but-but the Luxan dragged me with him to the milking room, where I found Saul. He-he was dead."

"She didn't want to save Saul!" John whispered to Chiana, D'Argo and Jool. "She wanted to rob him!"

As John stopped talking, he heard the faint sound of a woman crying in the audience.

As he turned around, he saw Fe'Tor's sister wiping her tears away with a soft tissue.

"She's frelling faking it." D'Argo said.

"Yeah," John said. "Women are good at that."

As the lawyer ended his interrogation of the witness, John jumped up from his seat, wanting another go at interrogating Raxil.

He tripped over his own feet and fell flat with his face on the purple and dusty carpet.

D'Argo covered his eyes as John crawled up and wiped the dust off of his knees.

"Raxil!" John said.

The creature wasn't glad to see him approaching the stand again.

"Tell us more about Saul." John asked.

"About Saul?" Raxil asked nervously.

"Please." John said.

He couldn't help but smile.

"Saul...Saul was a beautiful, young man. A-a strong, b-bright personality."

"Yeah," John said. "That's great. Poetic even. But you told us shit about Saul. Tell me what he did, where he grew up, what he used to eat for breakfast. Come on!"

Raxil began describing Saul again.

And every word she used was a lie.

After she was done talking, John clapped in his hands.

"Wonderful." John said. "Now tell us what he stole from you."

"What?" Raxil said surprised.

Now Chiana covered her eyes, mumbling something like: "Very subtle Crichton..."

"Tell us what he stole from you." John said clearly.

"He didn't steal anything from me." Raxil said.

"Yes he did. Don't lie to me. Because then it would be the second time you lied to me, and lying as a witness does not convince juries."

John leaned towards Raxil as he turned his head towards the jury and waved his hand.

"Now, tell us what he stole from you!"

"He didn't steal anything..."

"Now you're lying again!" John hollered. "He had stolen something of you, and when you entered Fe'Tor's complex, you went in to get it back. You didn't go in to save your mate, you went in there to collect something that was yours!"

"OBJECTION, YOUR HONOUR!" the lawyer for the prosecution shouted.

"Is this a question!"

"Uhum," the judge said as he turned his head. "What?"

He was distracted by Chiana's cleavage the entire time.

As John looked at Chiana, she winked at him.

"You're one of a kind, Chiana..." John thought to himself smiling.

"He is assaulting the witness!" the lawyer spoke.

"Crichton!" the judge said.

"My apologies, your honour." Crichton said.

"Continue." the judge said.

"Yes, your honour." John said. "My last question."

"What?" Raxil said.

She was sweating.

"What's a milking-room?" John asked her.

* * *

"Crichton is doing wonderful." Harvey said to Chiana.

He sat in a wooden chair, wearing sunglasses and a blue vest.

In his hands he held a magazine, entitled: "Nebari Nudes", and with a large photo of a naked Chiana on the front (with her back to the camera).

"Yeah, he's enjoying himself." Chiana said.

As she saw the magazine she grabbed it out of his hands.

"Frell you." Chiana said.

"I frell you too, darling." Harvey said.

Chiana freaked out.

"I have no idea how Crichton was able to live with you for so long without going absolutely crazy."

"Crichton IS crazy." Harvey said. "There's no doubt about that."

"I can't wait for you to leave." Chiana said.

"Perhaps I won't." Harvey said .

"Oh, you will." Chiana replied.

"Why should I want to leave?" Harvey said. "Your mind is a beautiful place.  
Full of sex, drugs and rock and roll, baby!"

He looked into the air and stretched his arms out as if he was flying.

Sunlight of an invisible sun reflected in his sunglasses.

"Full of so many complex emotions..." Harvey went on as he looked at Chiana.

"Sadness, joy, abandonment, sex and death...so many death..."

"I don't like it when people frell with my mind!" Chiana said as she threw the magazine in Harvey's face.

"Yes, I know that." Harvey said.

"Your species have a strange obsession towards mind-control and mind-cleansing...I can understand why you dislike my presence here..."

"Dislike?" Chiana said. "I hate it!"

"That's a bit harsh, don't you think?" Harvey said as he opened the magazine again and started skimming through.

Chiana approached him, and gently pushed the magazine down, so that Chiana looked straight in Harvey's eyes.

"You like watching my body, don't you?" Chiana said.

"Then I have a proposition to make..."

"A proposition?" Harvey asked.

"Yes." Chiana said as moved closer and closer to Harvey.

Harvey smelled Chiana's scent as she got closer, it smelled like lavender.

Harvey didn't know what lavender was. It was something out of Crichton's memories.

A flower.

Yes, that too. But it was also something else.

Another memory. A memory of a girl. In the back of a mini-van.

That girl smelled exactly like Chiana.

Like lavender.

"If you promise to leave my mind when the time comes," Chiana spoke. "-then I'll give you..."

Chiana smiled.

"A lap-dance." she said.

Harvey couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"A lap-dance?" Harvey asked.

Harvey had an exciting and curious, but also a slightly afraid look in his eyes.

Like a child.

"A lap-dance." Chiana said enticing.

"Agreed." Harvey said, almost immediately, and he threw the magazine away.

* * *

"I think we can all agree that that went pretty well." John said as he walked into their cell again.

They returned there because of a recess. The trial would continue in an hour or so.

"No, it did not." D'Argo said. "We're still in this frelling cell."

"Well, we won the battle, but we haven't won the war yet." John replied.

"What?" D'Argo asked.

"Never mind." John replied. "Look, I'll just talk to the constable and prepare things for later. I'll be right back."

"John wait!" Chiana said.

She grabbed him before he left the cell.

They started talking as they both stood in the doorway.

"What?" Crichton said. "Are you going to beg again?"

"Oh, forget it." Chiana said as she let him go. "I'm not going to talk to you if you're like this."

"Fine." John said as he left. "I don't care."

Chiana slammed the door shut.

As she looked over her shoulder, she saw Jool staring at her.

"What?" Chiana asked.

"Nothing." Jool said.

"Whatever." Chiana said as she walked away to her own corner of the cell.

"I'm back to being ignored." Jool thought to herself "Back to being just one of Crichton's companions. Not an individual. Not respected. I'm just here because they're stuck with me."

Jool looked around the chamber.

D'Argo sat silently in the corner opposite of Chiana, crunching his knuckles.

Chiana mumbled something as she laid on her back on the pink and fluffy floor.

She was carving something in the wall, using a small knife (which she kept hidden from the guards).

Jool sighed.

"Right." Crichton said as he walked back into the cell. "Everything is set. We will be back on Moya in no time."

Jool looked at the human as she sat curled up on the floor.

Although she had eaten the meal the cooks had prepared for her (with great reluctance) she still felt a little woozy and weak.

"So..." D'Argo said. "Are you going to tell us about what you did, or do we have to guess?"

Jool noticed by the way of D'Argo's body-language that what he did not say, was more important then what he did say.

"What?" John said. "Don't you trust me?"

"I just DO NOT like surprises." D'Argo said.

"Don't worry about it." John said. "I've got it all taken care of."

"Yeah, right..." Chiana said.

"I did!" John replied. "I talked to constable Sta'Kor and he assures me that nothing can go wrong."

"Nothing?" D'Argo asked.

"Nothing." John said.

Jool could tell by their faces that neither D'Argo or Chiana were convinced.

And John saw that too.

"You know what?" he said. "Frell you guys."

He opened the door again and left.

The silence which followed was breathtaking.

"They're being way too hard on him." Jool thought to herself.

"Crichton's only trying to do the right thing. At least, what he believes is right.  
He only tries to help them; it's not his fault that some things go wrong.  
But I also understand why the others resent Crichton so much at this point.  
Crichton, perhaps not consciously, thinks he's the centre of the universe. I wouldn't blame him for it, he's been hunted down for the past two years by all things imaginable!  
But now that he's not hunted anymore, D'Argo and Chiana believed that everything would calm down. But it didn't. The entire matter of the two John's only made matters worse.  
And now the crew of Moya has been split in half, and John focuses on his wormholes to forget about the fact that the other John took Aeryn with him to Talyn."

Jool sighed.

"They miss the others, and are fed up with each other. Even Pilot needed some time away from the crew. Which lead them here, to Lo'Mo.  
And even here they won't stop fighting and arguing. Why? I guess Zhaan's death hit them all hard. Perhaps subconsciously they're still looking for someone to blame for her death.  
And then there's also the fact that Chiana slept with D'Argo's son...I mean...who does a thing like that?"

Jool looked at the two former love-birds, avoiding eye-contact as they sat in opposite corners.

"Oh, my." Jool thought to herself. "Look at me. I'm doing it again!"

She pulled herself off of the floor.

"I'm staring at the wall again, thinking too much. I have to stop doing that."

Depressive thoughts started forming in her head again.

"What am I doing here? A woman of my intellect, who is about to be executed!"

She started crying, but turned her head away, so that neither D'Argo or Chiana could see it.

* * *

Court continued.

D'Argo, Chiana and Jool were escorted for the second time to the courtroom.

Crichton was already there, and he stood there, waiting for them.

"Court is in session!" the judge hollered as the final people entered through the doors and sat down on their seats.

Jool stood next to Crichton.

The human stood firm and confident at her side.

She suddenly began to envy Aeryn...

"...yes, your honour." Crichton said. "I would like to call my next witness: mister Kabaah."

Four guards carried the green creature on a large plate across the room.

The older generations in the audience found the creature appalling; the younger generations found it interesting.

"Was this your surprise?" D'Argo said to Crichton. "The Hanji?"

"Yup." Crichton said. "This guy is going to save our lives."

But before Kabaah made it to the witness stand, a strange woman stood up from the audience and fired a pulse-blast upon the creature.

The people who were the closest to the creature and saw it get shot, screamed out of terror.

The creature's yellow blood oozed all over their faces.

Kabaah was dead.

"No!" Chiana shouted.

"She did not just do that!" Crichton hollered. "Tell me she did not just do that!"


	4. Chapter 4

"Nothing could go wrong, you said." D'Argo spoke. "Nothing."

They were back in the purple cell, where everything was covered in pink tapestry and pink carpets.

Everything was dusty and smelled like puke.

"All right!" John said. "Nothing could have gone wrong, except for some mysterious assassin lurking in the audience trying to kill Kabaah! How the frell should I have known about that?"

"Perhaps they were after him all along!" Chiana said.

"In the complex, when those men attacked us, they weren't after us. They were after the Hanji!"

John knew she was right.

"Frell!" John shouted.

He kicked against the wall.

"Why won't anything go to plan?" John said.

"No doubt that Fe'Tor's sister is responsible for all this." D'Argo said.

"Well, do you have evidence to support that claim?" Jool said.

"Well, no..." D'Argo answered.

"Then I suggest that you keep those accusations to yourself." Jool continued. "It's one thing to murder a respected industrialist, but it's another thing to accuse his sister of conspiring to murder!"

"But this isn't just about us!" John said. "This is about Fe'Tor's entire company, his entire syndicate of freslin-manufacturers and dealers. If the judge had been able to see what the Hanji had witnessed happening in those places, then dozens, maybe hundreds of people would be arrested! Including Fe'Tor's sister!"

"The Hanji was more important then I thought." D'Argo said.

"And without the Hanji, we have nothing to support our claims." John said. "Nothing. Raxil will call us liars and everyone else will call us murderers."

"And the only thing we can do is wait for our execution." Jool said as she curled herself up against the wall.

"I just realised..." Chiana said slowly as she looked at Crichton.

"Without the Hanji, I'm stuck with...I'm stuck with Harvey!"

Chiana freaked out slightly.

"You can get him out right?" Chiana said. "There is another way, right? Tell me!"

But Crichton looked at her, without saying anything. Because he had no answers.

"I don't know." he simply said to her.

He was honest and felt slightly sorry for Chiana at that point.

He felt partly responsible for Harvey's actions. He didn't know why he felt that.

"There has to be some way we can prove our innocence." D'Argo said.

"We can't!" John said. "You know why? Because we're not innocent! That's our problem!"

He stood up and started pacing around the cell.

"We have to show the jury why we did it. Prove them that our motives were noble."

"How do we do that?" D'Argo said.

"Don't interrupt me." John said. "Let me think."

His pace quickened.

"We have to convince them that what we did was necessary to save our friends. They would've died if we had not rescued them! We must be honest and true. We must say it to them. Face to face. We have to take the stand. We have to take the stand!"

The look on John's face was that of a blessed man, who just created gold out of garbage.

* * *

"Court is in session!" the judge spoke as he hit the table with his mallet.

John, D'Argo, Chiana and Jool sat down on their seats in the centre of the hall again.

"Because of an assassination right here in this very courtroom only one hour ago, the security of this complex has been tightened."

The judge spoke the truth. Every door and window was covered by at least three guards, wearing armour and holding fierce weaponry in their arms.

D'Argo yawned.

It was not that he wasn't impressed with the weaponry, but it was just that it was very late and it had been quite some time since he had any sleep.

"But this assassination does not make frighten us. It only makes us more determined to do our duty!"

The judge winked at Chiana as he said it. He was obviously trying to show off.

Chiana smiled at him, before he went on with his speech.

"Look at the jury." Crichton said. "Look at their faces. They're blaming us for what happened!"

"You can't blame them for thinking that." Jool said. "I mean, ever since our arrival we've brought death and destruction."

"Hey! It wasn't me who knocked over that aquarium in the bar!" John said.

"That was you?" Chiana asked D'Argo.

"Well, at least it wasn't me who stood naked in that window."

"I WASN'T NAKED!" John said. "Besides, I thought we agreed we would NOT mention the window!"

"Well, you mentioned the aquarium..." D'Argo replied.

"Gentlemen!" the judge hollered as he slammed with his golden mallet on the table.

"Will you please be silent! This is my courtroom, and I do NOT appreciate you interrupting either me, or the trial! Any more of this and I will consider it an official sign of disrespect towards the judge and I'll throw you out! Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, your honour." John and D'Argo said in chorus, like two good little schoolchildren.

"Very well." The judge said. "Then let's proceed. Councillors for the prosecution! I believe it is your turn to send in a witness!"

"It is, your honour." the lawyer for the prosecution said.

He used his cane to support his weight as he stood up.

"And I would like to call upon mister Kemp!"

* * *

As the doors opened a small man with a large moustache walked in.

He was definitely Sebacean.

"Tell us who you are, mister Kemp." the lawyer asked as he took the witness stand.

"I am mister Dorian Kemp." Kemp said. "I used to work for the Peacekeepers as an Intelligence-officer."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Then tell us all about Mister Crichton and his friends..."

As mister Kemp started talking, Crichton turned to D'Argo.

"They're trying to give us a bad name!" John said.

"That would be impossible." D'Argo joked. "Our reputation is so bad, we can give it a knife and call it a killer."

"You know, that's not funny. Not at all."

"I think it's funny." Jool said.

D'Argo looked at her for a split second before turning his head to John again.

"Look." John said. "They're trying to make us seem unbelievable thugs who would not hesitate to kill someone!"

Chiana noticed that John's eyes kept wandering into her direction.

"If they succeed, then they won't believe any word we're saying, and they'll execute us for being a whoopsy!"

And John was proven to be right.

The only thing Kemp seemed to say was that Crichton and his friends were a menace to the universe, and that everyone on Lo'Mo should get their pitchforks and torches and throw them into a volcano.

As the lawyer was done interrogating, Crichton stepped up and walked casually towards Kemp.

"Mister Kemp." John said. "Mister Kemp."

He just kept walking and smiling.

"Mister Dorian Kemp."

John kept on saying his name and kept on looking in Kemp's eyes.

John knew he was scaring the hell out of him right now.

John figured that, if Kemp saw him as the biggest threat and menace to the galaxy, and the devil incarnate or something, then he would be frelling scared if John would come very close to him.

Which he did.

"Mister Dorian Kemp." John repeated.

"What the frell is he doing?" Jool asked.

"He's showing off." D'Argo said. "As usual."

"You said you USED to work for Peacekeeper Intelligence." John said to Kemp.

"Yes, I did." Kemp answered nervously.

"Then tell me...why don't you work for them anymore?"

"OBJECTION, your honour!" the lawyer for the prosecution shouted.

"What does this have to do with the accused?"

"Counsellor?" the judge asked Crichton.

"I'm only questioning this man's believability as a specialist." John answered.

John hoped that this would be the same as on Earth. Or he would be screwed.

"Overruled." the judge said. "You may proceed."

"Thank you, your honour." John said. "Well. Answer the question, mister Kemp."

"I-I got fired." Kemp said softly and embarrassed.

John shook his head.

"I'm sorry, but I can't hear you."

"I got fired!" Kemp said.

John smiled.

"I didn't think Peacekeepers fired their personnel."

Kemp swallowed.

"They-they don't."

"Then why are you saying that you got fired?" John said.

"I was demoted, okay?" Kemp said.

"To what position?" John asked.

"C-cook." Kemp said nervously.

"Cook?" John shouted. "You're a frelling cook?"

"Yes, I was."

"So what you're telling me..." John said. "You USED to work for Peacekeeper Intelligence, then you got SACKED, and now you're a COOK, who's TRYING to tell us that I should be EXECUTED? I don't think so."

He walked back to his seat, leaving a trembling Kemp behind at the witness stand.

His spirit was broken, and the jury was left thinking whether they're missing something important.

"I should win a frelling Oscar for this." John said to his friends.

"A what?" Chiana asked.

"Never mind." John added.

"She's back." Chiana said.

"Who is?" D'Argo asked.

As they both looked around, they saw Fe'Tor's sister sitting upright and strong in the audience. She was almost an entire different person from what they saw only an hour ago.

An hour ago she was a crying wreck, and now, after the most important piece of evidence in the case, the Hanji, had been killed, she seemed perfectly well.

"She knows that we are nothing without the Hanji." D'Argo said. "We are dead, if we don't find a way to convince the jury of our innocence."

"Well then, let's do some convincing?" John said as he stood up from his chair.

"Mister Crichton!" the judge said. "Do you have another witness to examine?"

"Yes, I have, your honour." John said to him.

"Well, then call him."

"I am the next witness, your honour." Crichton said.

People began whispering and the lawyer for the prosecution began objecting.

"You want to call upon yourself, the counsellor for the defence, as a witness?" the judge asked.

"Yes, your honour." Crichton said.

"One of my friends will act as a interrogator on my behalf."

The judge did not know any reason to stop Crichton from doing this.

"All right, mister Crichton." the judge said as he looked upon Chiana. "I will allow this. But don't try anything foolish."

"I won't, your honour." Crichton said as he sat down in the witness stand.

D'Argo looked at Crichton.

He had to interrogate him, but had no clue what to ask him.

"You swear to tell the truth?" the judge asked Crichton.

"I swear to tell the truth, your honour." Crichton said.

* * *

"Let's go." D'Argo said to Jool.

"What?" Jool asked. "What do you mean? I'm not going to do this!"

"Yes you are." D'Argo said. "You're smart, right?"

"Well, yes, I mean yes...no! I mean no!" Jool desperately tried to say but D'Argo pushed her towards Crichton.

"I can't do this!" Jool said to D'Argo as she stepped back.

"You can!" D'Argo said. "You are the smartest of us all!"

"You really think so?" Jool said to D'Argo.

"Yes, I do." D'Argo said.

* * *

Chiana saw how D'Argo touched Jool's hand.

She didn't like it.

* * *

Jool walked towards Crichton, not knowing what to say.

"What are you waiting for, counsellor?" the judge asked Jool.

The nervous and speechless Jool looked at Crichton.

The look on his face urged her to say something.

"Say something!" D'Argo whispered behind her.

"Where are you from?" Jool suddenly asked Crichton.

It was the only question which popped in her mind at that point.

Chiana covered her eyes in embarrasment.


	5. Chapter 5

"This is ridiculous." Chiana said. "Why let Jool do it? She can't do it!"

"This is not about being the best." D'Argo explained to Chiana.

"This is about honesty."

"I can be honest." Chiana said.

"Oh, really?" D'Argo said to her.

"Yeah." Chiana said.

"Can you tell all those people you did not kill Fe'Tor?" D'Argo asked.

"Of course I can." Chiana said. "I did not kill Fe'Tor."

"Now that's not honesty. That's a big frelling lie."

"So?" Chiana said. "If they're lying, we should lie too! Play the game by their rules!"

"Yeah, but it's THEIR game!" D'Argo replied. "And if they catch us lying, it would only make things worse!"

* * *

Jool nervously shuffled on her feet, moving closer towards Crichton, who was waiting for another question.

Why...why did you come to Lo'Mo?" Jool asked after the slow and almost disastrous first question.

"I came here to relax. To take a break. To have fun." Crichton answered.

"But that didn't work out." Jool stated.

"No it didn't." John said.

"Why's that?" Jool asked, feeling more confident with every step she took and every question she asked.

"Two girls, hired by Raxil, spiked our drinks and took our money."

"They robbed you?" Jool asked.

"Yes, they did." Crichton answered.

"So you didn't have any money, you were probably hung-over and you did not know where Chiana and me were."

"Yes."

"What happened next?" Jool asked.

John told about how Raxil approached them and showed them what happened the other day by sticking the Hanji's tentacles in their eyes.

He skipped the part where Harvey jumped from host to host, and moved on to the real deal.

"Fe'Tor." Crichton said. "He had kidnapped the both of you, and was planning to kill you, and sell Chiana to a buyer."

* * *

Chiana turned around as she heard a noise.

Two girls were playing in the corner of the courtroom with some kind of toy.

They pushed a button and turned into statues.

Their eyes were spinning and when they returned to normal, they were filled with joy.

Something had to be extremely funny and great about that toy...

* * *

"So you-you did what you thought was the only right thing to do." Jool went on.

"You rescued us."

"Yup." Crichton said, unimpressed by Jool's subliminal flattery.

Jool didn't know what to say anymore.

"Ehm...no further questions, your honour." Jool said as she returned to her seat.

* * *

"And now you're probably going to say you could've done that better?" D'Argo said to Chiana, but as he turned around she wasn't there.

"What did you say?" Chiana said as she suddenly popped up again behind D'Argo.

D'Argo noticed that she was quickly hiding something in her pocket.

"Was that great, or what?" Jool said to D'Argo and Chiana as she sat down.

"Yeah...that was-that was great." Chiana said.

"You were fantastic." D'Argo said.

* * *

On the other side of round courtroom, the lawyer for the prosecution, named Maven Relak, stood up from his chair and approached Crichton.

"So you say your motives were noble." Maven said.

"Then tell me, mister John Crichton, why did you kill Fe'Tor?"

Crichton looked him daring in the eyes.

"Self-defence." Crichton said.

Maven noticed him quickly looking upon Chiana.

"Really?" Maven said.

"Yes." Crichton replied.

"But I have a new witness who claims otherwise." Maven said.

"What witness?" Crichton said.

"Heska Fe'Tor's sister." Maven said.

"She could never have witnessed his murder, because she was unconscious when it happened!"

"So you stated in your report." Maven said. "But that's not what she claims."

"She can claim whatever she wants, but that doesn't mean she's telling the truth."

"And you ARE?" Maven said.

"I AM!" Crichton replied.

"GENTLEMEN!" the judge shouted.

Maven and Crichton looked up.

They hadn't even realised that they were getting closer and closer to each other as the volume of their voices went up.

"I'm sorry your honour..." they both said.

"Continue." The judge said.

As Maven cleared his throat and scratched his shoulder, he tried again.

"Did you kill Heska Fe'Tor?" Maven asked.

"No, I did not." Crichton said.

"So you say you did NOT shoot him?"

"Who said I shot him?" Crichton asked. "Fe'Tor was poisoned! With his own freslin!"

"But then why are their scorch-marks on his body, clearly indicating he was shot?"

"There aren't any!"

Maven smiled as he introduced new evidence to the judge.

Photo's which proved that Fe'Tor had scorch-marks on his body.

Which clearly indicated that he was fired upon from close range.

"Are you willing to change your testimony?" Maven asked.

"Fe'Tor was not shot." Crichton said. "He was never shot! Chiana poisoned him! She drowned him! She never shot him!"

"She never did, mister Crichton." Maven said. "We found evidence that suggests that the shot which killed him, came from YOUR weapon, mister Crichton."

"That's impossible..." Crichton said. "You're setting me up!"

* * *

Crichton was on a rampage in his cell.

"They're frelling setting me up! SHE is frelling setting me up!"

"We know, Crichton." D'Argo said.

"DAMNIT!" Crichton shouted.

"We're all going to be executed." Jool said calmly. "We have NO evidence to support our claims. They'll just say we're lairs and give us all the death-penalty!"

"There must be a way for us to prove we're innocent." Crichton said.

"There's got to be."

"Crichton..." Chiana said.

Crichton turned around and saw Chiana throwing some strange object up and down in her hands.

Strange lights lit up in the strange organic and round blob every time Chiana touched it.

She smiled.

"I have the solution to our problems right here." she said.

"What is that?" Jool asked.

"It's a game-blob." Chiana said.

* * *

"What the frell is this?" John said as he pushed one of the buttons on the game-blob and entered this strange, virtual, world.

Everything felt like he saw it from a distance. From above.

Through binoculars.

Everything was weird and hollow and seemed to glow.

"Welcome!" some strange creature with five eyes and three noses said to him as he walked through the door.

"We-w-we-w-WELCOME!"

"Get out of my way." Crichton said. "CHIANA!"

"I'm right here!" Chiana said as she walked towards him.

"What is this place?" Crichton asked.

"Virtual reality." Chiana said. "Neat, huh?"

"Yeah, but why are we here again?" John asked.

He was picking at his strange clothing, some kind of green uniform with blue stars painted in them.

He felt a hat on his head with similar icons printed on them which he immediately threw away.

"I'll show you." Chiana said.

As they turned the corridor, they saw a bleak figure standing in the middle of a strange yellow room.

"Harvey?" Crichton said.

"Greetings, Crichton." Harvey said. "For a moment there, I thought I'd never get to see you again."

"Yeah, I hoped so too." Crichton said. "How the hell can he help us prove our story's true?"

"Well," Harvey said. "I can show you."

"What the-" Crichton said.

Immediately their surroundings changed, and they stood in Fe'Tor's auction hall again.

"How the hell did you do that?" Crichton said.

"Just like all the other times I dragged you into an old memory of yours." Harvey said. "This is a virtual display of what really happened last night. It is real, because this is what you saw. And what you remember."

"These are my memories?" John asked.

"No." Harvey said. "These are D'Argo's. But now that you are connected to me too, I have your memories as well."

"Isn't it great, John?" Chiana said.

"You still carry D'Argo's memories with you?" Crichton asked. "How's that?"

"Well, my neural chip had the function and ability to store data in it's memory-banks, or whatever you like to call it. When the chip was removed, the ability stayed. Don't ask me how. Be satisfied with the fact that it did."

"Yeah, I'll go for that." Crichton said.

"Now we can prove our story's true." Chiana said.

* * *

"I'm terribly sorry for you." constable Sta'Kor said as he walked in.

"I am probably the only one who still believes that you are innocent. I know of Fe'Tor's dealings in the underworld of Lo'Mo, and with the freslin. Now they want to make it look like you are lying, and eventually will have you executed."

"I doubt it, boss." Crichton said.

"What do you mean?" Sta'Kor asked.

"We just got our hands on some evidence." Crichton said.

* * *

"Order in the courtroom!" the judge hollered. "Order!"

He slammed with his mallet on the table and everyone became quiet.

"Mister Relak, your next witness please."

Heska Fe'Tor's sister entered the courtroom, accompanied by several armed guards.

Crichton and D'Argo looked her straight in the eyes as she walked past them, and they noticed she was smiling as she looked at them.

"Frelling tralk..." D'Argo said.

"You can say that again." John said.

"Frelling tralk." D'Argo repeated.

"It's just a saying, D'Argo." John explained. "You don't actually have to do it."

"Oh." D'Argo said, before shaking his head. "You and your frelling Earth sayings."

* * *

"Selina Fe'Tor." Maven said as he began his questioning.

"Tell us about Fe'Tor. What kind of a man was he? What was he like?"

Selina started crying.

* * *

"Oh, just look at her." Crichton said. "She should win a frelling Oscar."

* * *

"I'm sorry." Selina said as she wiped her tears away.

"I still can't believe he's gone..."

* * *

"See that?" John said. "They're trying to make the jury sympathise with the victim. Trying to make them feel sorry for the fact he's dead. That sunnavabitch..."

D'Argo nodded in agreement.

"What's an Oscar?" he asked Crichton.

Crichton closed his eyes and shook his head.

"No, really." D'Argo said. "You said it like two times, but I still don't know what an Oscar is...'

* * *

"I still remember him when he was young. A child even. He was so innocent and gentle, but when he inherited his father's company he became so strong. Such an inspiring, and great man. I was so proud of him..."

This went on and on, until Maven decided to end the wining and get on with the questioning.

"Tell me, how did he die?" Maven asked.

"That...that Crichton walked in...Fe'Tor tried to resist, but he was thrown to the ground.

Crichton grabbed his gun and shot him dead, in cold blood! That man's a murderer! A frelling murderer!"

She began shouting and weeping, but Crichton saw that in her eyes was a cold and manipulative glow.

She knew exactly what she was doing.

"I'm so sorry, miss Fe'Tor." Maven said. "No further questions, your honour."

* * *

Maven Relak walked slowly to his seat, which was Crichton's cue to stand up.

"Rip her to shreds Crichton." Chiana said.

"Break an arm." Jool said.

"It's 'break a leg'." Crichton replied.

"Oh."

* * *

Crichton stood up and walked casually towards Selina.

After all those times of questioning in his role as councillor, he had managed to perfect his walk into a slow, but casual, intimidating but gentle, walk.

As he approached her, he slowly started clapping.

"Well done." Crichton said. "That was amazing. Grab the Kleenex and handkerchiefs, I want to blow my nose...excellent performance, miss Fe'Tor."

He stopped clapping as he put his arms on the table of the witness.

"You are one great actress, you know that?"

"Murderer!" Selina shouted.

"Are you absolutely sure about that?" John asked her. "You don't want to change that statement? Really? WELL THEN...I want to introduce to the court...'ITEM A'!"

Constable Sta'Kor entered the chamber with the game-blob in his hands.

John actually found the way he held it funny, as if it were a holy object, or something you are afraid to touch.

"D'Argo! Would you be so kind as to guard the item in question? We don't want it to be destroyed or anything. Or killed. Just like what happened to that Hanji...You don't happen to know anything about that do you, miss Fe'Tor?"

Selina's tears stopped flowing and her face was serious, hostile and furious.

"Speak the truth now, Selina." Crichton said as Sta'Kor gave the game-blob to Chiana, who it to the judge.

She winked to him as she did it.

"No lies."Crichton said. "Do you know anything about the assassination of the Hanji, Kabaah?"

"No, I do not." Selina said.

"Are you sure?" Crichton said. "Because that's not what the woman who killed the Hanji said."

Crichton was bluffing, but Selina didn't know that.

"She said YOU ordered her to do it."

"I did not!" Selina shouted.

"YES, you did!" Crichton shouted.

Both suddenly looked upon the judge.

He just returned from his trip into the game-blob, and his meeting with Harvey, who showed him everything Crichton wanted him to see.

He immediately initiated a recess for the judge, the jury and the attorneys of both sides to gather and talk about this new piece of evidence, which shed an entire new light upon this matter.

* * *

In the end, Crichton and the others walked free, however they were banished from the planet for good, because of the amount of damage they had inflicted upon it.

Selina and all of her employees were convicted and sent to prison, and the reputation of every member of the Fe'Tor family was disgraced. Months afterwards, they all changed their names.

As Crichton, D'Argo and Jool were escorted to their Transport Pod, Crichton thanked constable Sta'Kor for all of his help, offering him a drink.

Sta'Kor declined, and Crichton ended up having to drink the beverage himself.

"Where's Chiana?" D'Argo asked as he looked around.

She wasn't anywhere in sight.

"Chiana?" John asked over the comms.

But she didn't respond.

It wasn't until another hour later, before Chiana would walk into the Transport Pod.

"Where were you?" D'Argo asked her in fury.

"I was enjoying myself..." Chiana said smiling.

"She was probably having sex with that judge..." Harvey whispered in John's ears.

Yes, he was back in John's mind.

After his intensive research into D'Argo's and Chiana's mind, he wanted to come back to Crichton.

Crichton only agreed to take Harvey back, because he had helped them in the case.

"You didn't..." John asked Chiana. "...have sex with the judge, did you?"

"Now how would you know a thing like that?" Chiana asked.

"Harvey." John answered.

Chiana smiled, but then she looked at Crichton again.

"He hasn't told you about that other thing, has he?"

"What other thing?"

"The lap-dance?" Harvey said to John.

"YOU GAVE HARVEY A LAP-DANCE?" John said.

"What?" D'Argo said.

"I'm so tired," Chiana said, ignoring their words. "Ask me again tomorrow."

"Yeah, me too. I feel like I could sleep for a week..."

John and D'Argo looked at Chiana, and then at each other.

Both shrugged with their shoulders.

"Are we going to go back to Moya or what?" Jool asked.

"Fine, fine." John said as he walked towards the Pod's controls. "I'll take us back to Moya."

"No, John." D'Argo said. "I will take us back to Moya."

"You're tired." John said. "Let me drive."

"I'm not tired." D'Argo said. "I'm taking the Pod for a spin."

"No, you're not." John said. "Now go away, and let me drive."

"Uh-uh." D'Argo said, shaking his head. "I'm driving."

"No way." John said. "You suck at flying."

"No, YOU do." D'Argo replied. "Now stand aside."

"I'm not stepping aside." John said. "YOU are."

They both refused to step away from the console, refusing to let the other fly the Pod.

"It's my turn to fly, now go away."

"I'm not going away...now STAND ASIDE!"

"No!"

"Guys..." Chiana and Jool said as they approached them.

"What?" D'Argo and John asked.

"SHUT UP!" Chiana and Jool shouted.

THE END


End file.
